Kim K is D&G’s new muse. How quick she is to switch her allegiance. “Ciao, Kim”

That Kim Kardashian would be the new face of Dolce & Gabbana is not surprising. Three days before the show, she shared the hashtags #CiaoKim and #DolceGabbana on social media following her choreographed arrival in Milan. But for her to move from Balenciaga to Dolce & Gabbana, two labels on the opposite ends of the aesthetic pole, is rather a puzzler. Is she that flexible to be able to adore Balenciaga couture two months ago and walk that show and then go flatter D&G by lending her name—the most famous of the fame-craving family—to their spring/summer 2023 season and appearing on that runway too? Reaching the apex of French haute couture was not enough, she needed to conquer Italian RTW? Is she sick of Demna Gvasalia obscuring her whole body? Or, is she still unsure of what her own style is, more so after her marriage to Kanye West ended, and having admitted on The Kardashians that she had “never really been the visionary”?

To be certain that you know that the SKIMS founder (oh, yes, there’s that Fendi collab!) is with faction D&G, they feature a close-up of her in a black & white La Dolce Vita-ish film as backdrop to the runway. But the only performance she does throughout is eat, sensuously, a serving of unappetising-looking, sauced-up spaghetti, allowing the wheat strands to be sucked into her pursed mouth as if a demonstration of skillful fellatio. Perhaps, that is Felliniesque: the hedonism, the consumption. Even the dabbing of her lips! (Aside: how is it that Kim Kardashian gets to use a fork to eat her pasta when in China D&G had their model use chopsticks?) And to be surer that you do not mistake the unmistakable character on-screen, now with a Bardot blond pile, the show opens with the sounds of the clicks of paparazzi cameras and the canned screams of “’We love you, Kim!” Our eyes did roll.

The reality TV star has brought her preferred silhouette to D&G: body-con. Or clothes that would require a set of SKIMS beneath. Now, this is not some gimcrack collaboration; this is, we are informed, a serious curation. So what did Ms Kardashian curate? She revives pieces she likes from 1987 to 2007. And such breadth: they aesthetically correspond to what she wore before she met Kanye West and what Julia Fox wears today. And for good measure, the legging-boots she was seen in with considerable frequency when promoting Balenciaga. These are all Kim-Kardashian-with-somewhere-to-go or something-to-wear-for-Instagram looks. They really should have made a latex likeness of the woman, as well as derrière enhancements, and make all the models a clone of her. When the brand sponsored your sister’s wedding and the clothes of the ambitious family attending it, the least you could do is lend them your face and body in sensational support.

In the end, is this D&G going archival, again? Have the two men nothing new to say or are there really that much to mine from their past? We do not feel nostalgic seeing the same lingerie style that Cindy Crawford wore to open the spring/summer 1992 show, appearing like an apparition, nary a tweak, again as this season’s first look. It is amazing that they do not factor satiation and see it necessary to let Ms Kardashian pick those very pieces that would be no sartorial challenge to her (interestingly there are no prints, save the leopard spots) to do a show based on her taste. Having witnessed Kim Kardashian enjoying her pasta, even if you close your eyes, you could see bra tops, tiny bustiers, mini-dresses, corset-dresses, nude dresses, clingy dresses, slip-dresses, granny panties, skimpy panties, pencil skirts, high-waist skirts, high-waist pants, low-waist jeans. Momentarily, it could have been Versace on show.

Screenshot (top) dolcegabbana/youtube. Photos: gorunway.com