In a film that showcased the house’s latest cruise collection, the bouclé jackets had their close-ups in hi-res glory. Was it fun to watch?

To be sure, this is not a fashion show. It isn’t a live stream. This is a catalogue on film. It is stagey; it is studied; it is boring.

At seven-odd minutes long, it felt like one over-stretched commercial conceived without a storyboard. This could have been shot in a movie studio. Even the cloudless blue sky in parts looked fake. The sunset looks simulated.

Although the setting was the seaside, it was a seaside in lockdown. Just models and sea. There was no white-sand beach. It was the water’s edge with ominous grey pebbles. Even the water looked eerily still. Up on the terrace of, presumably, a hotel, the models hung around as if waiting backstage of an actual runway show.

They looked bored out of their wits. With whatever action they tried, bonkers came to mind. Sometimes they glared at the camera, sometimes they looked vacuous. Sometimes their eyes asked, why are you making me do this?

The models barely looked like that had makeup on. The hair didn’t seem styled. Or, makeup and hair looked like the result of a Zoom tutorial. The clothes didn’t appear styled either. They could have been worn according to original sketches.

The whole production was not a distraction from difficult times. Not a moment to dream. This was a reminder of what fashion presentation has been under lockdown. This was social-distancing in Chanel.

Their planned showing in Capri was cancelled. Still, the Méditerranée theme remained. The sea may be evocative of the Mediterranean, but the clothes not so much. Roman without the holiday.

To be sure, these are clothes for cruise—a word, a thought, a mode of travel currently fraught with dread. These are going somewhere threads. They are predictable; they are contrived; they are boring.

Update (9 June, 10:25): According to news report emerging, the film was shot in a studio.

Screen grabs: Chanel