Like most things in fashion, heels are not created equal, We are, of course, not just talking about height. Some heels are simply more desirable than others despite their falling popularity. And some are re-imagined to bring heels, well, to another level, forgive the cliché.

Jacquemus, in the brand’s usual cheeky fashion, are proposing that women wear the pumpkin of heels, not asparagus. And if the amplitude of girth isn’t enough, it has made both sides quite unalike. Mismatched shoes are nothing new, of course (for a long time, anti-establishment types have been known to buy two different shoes and swap sides to wear), but mismatched heels, they’re a recent fascination. And Jacquemus is a leading proponent, with Selena Gomez one of the earliest adopters.

These 13-cm (5-inches) heels are made of solid wood, and their massiveness disqualifies them from being vertiginous even when they are by no means stout. Body-positive heels! Like wedges, these heels give the impression of steadiness, defying gravity. And since they are weighted, unlikely to buckle. Practical considerations aside, are these as attractive as their anorexic cousins, the stiletto?

Well, it depends. For as long as the stiletto is an article of seduction (sometimes weapon for murder!) or the symbol of glamour and status (Manolos!), slender will triumph over stumpy, limp over butt, Louboutin over Fenty.

If heels are less about sexed-up aggression, they could be wedges of wit or height of humour. Indeed, these Jacquemus fraternal twins would be a delight to those who derive more pleasure when their heels are not one plus one. Rather, when they are ying and yang.

Jacquemus mismatched wood block heels, SGD760, are available at Dover Street Market Singapore. Photo: Jim Sim