More than anything else in the world, Donald Trump craves the Noble Peace Prize. He was denied it. Yeah?

Poor Karoline Leavitt. Her desperate boss Donald Trump was not awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The universe decided he’s better off without the validation. Now, he can go back to focusing on substantive peace, not a momentary absence of conflict. The White House press secretary has been lobbying for his “win”, claiming that he fulfilled the prize’s purpose through sheer output and a unique, forceful style of foreign policy. In her fan-fiction, she beautifully asserted that the president had “brokered, on average, about one peace deal or ceasefire per month” since he took office. Now, all that for nothing. The letdown is worse than being overlooked for a performance bonus. Ms Leavitt is currently collecting signatures for a petition to recall the universe’s misguided decision.

But, in all likelihood, Mr Trump isn’t entirely disappointed, even when he openly covets the accolade. He has long anticipated this outcome, saying: “They will never give me a Nobel Peace Prize. It’s too bad. I deserve it, but they will never give it to me”. This performative regret was expressed during a meeting in February at the White House with Israeli Prime Minister. The preferred Nobel Peace Prize honoree turned out to be someone from Venezuela, not too far from the U.S.: Maria Corina Machado, a curious pick in itself. Donald Trump did not just lose the prize and his face; he lost them to a Venezuelan and a woman—an opposition leader whose deal-making involves “her tireless work promoting democratic rights for the people of Venezuela and for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy”, according to the Norwegian Nobel Committee. She apparently delivered, and he?

What would “lips [that]move like she’s a machine gun” say now? Back in July Ms Leavitt vehemently insisted that “it’s well past time that President Trump was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize”. What a strange rhetorical move. We know that Karoline Leavitt often poses a creative interpretation of reality, but this time, it was not vetted for vapidity. Implying that something was overdue, she made it sound like the Prize is a widget Donald Trump misplaced in 2018 and needs to return to the circulation desk: a library book that, ironically, he has probably not come across? It didn’t seem like it was about the accolade itself and more about scripting the saga of denied greatness. The Nobel Peace Prize, conceived exactly 130 years ago to honor humility and reconciliation, was dramatically turned into a stage by the Trump administration for grievance and entitlement. It’s not overdue—it’s just never owed.

Illustration: Just So