If she is to be believed, Pylones’s Ma Dame is “a proper lady.” And why is she so?  “If anything gets too close to my skirt,” she tells us on her web page, “it gets shredded.”

That skirt! Looking at Ma Dame and her outfit, I was thinking of Gaultier. Weren’t his conical bras, made famous by Madonna, a marriage of fashion and weaponry too? (The idea would be, years later, adopted by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, both shooting from the tits.) And it is rather Gaultier to fashion perforated metal into a skirt. Ma Dame’s top, too, is characteristically JPG: sheer polka-dotted shoulders and gold bodice with Japanese flowers! Just imagine the rubber trim of the conical skirt to be mink, and you’ll have a grater worthy of a couture-wearing cook.

I am not inclined to make recommendations for holiday gifts, but if you want one that will make the grate… 😛

Ma Dame grater, SGD38, is available at Pylones, B1 Wheelock Place